


cicadas

by doubletan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a sad ending, Character Death, Confessions, Death, Domestic, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Married Life, Old Age, One Shot, Post canon, Sad, Sickfic, Sickness, alternate universe- old age, angst and sick/comfort, but idk what to tag it as lol, iwaoi - Freeform, married iwaoi, not really considered an au, old age AU, old iwaoi, old!iwaizumi, old!oikawa, people usually put angst with a happy ending and im like...LOL, sick!oikawa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-09 09:15:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7796056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doubletan/pseuds/doubletan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tooru's breathing was shallow, fainter than usual, his hand in Hajime’s relaxing bit by bit with every breath he struggled to inhale, the cicadas softer bit by bit with every breath he takes, and Hajime knew it was almost time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	cicadas

**Author's Note:**

> this is practically my first ever fic wow! got sucked into iwaoi hell. this was a oneshot contest on ig! hope you all will enjoy it and hope to get some concrit thank you!! edit: i won the contest oMG

The consonant chirping of cicadas penetrated the peace. The room was too stifling and uncomfortable for Hajime’s liking, the humid breeze gusting in from the open glass doors opposite him unpleasant and unwelcomed. Rivulets of sweat dripped down his back, hunched and crooked with the passing of time. The figure under the blanket affected by the heat too, squirmed slightly.

Recollecting an electric fan somewhere in the shared bedroom, Hajime glanced around in search of it, forestry green eyes bypassing alien and Godzilla merchandises and posters collected over the years arranged at the sides of the tatami floored room or pasted on the beige walls respectively. However, he could not miss out the photo frames hung, or the glistening trophies and medals in the display cabinet.

He shifted his back to accommodate his stiff neck, which provided him with a better view of the room’s periphery. Eyes landing on the desired object in the corner, he got up slowly with a grunt, knees aching slightly as he hobbled forward.

“I-Iwa-chan, it’s okay…” A feeble voice wafted from the futon. “Shut up Shittykawa, I’m hot too.” Hajime answered, and it was a partial truth. Normally, Tooru would have teased him about the double innuendo, however this time, he was met with a silence that left Hajime’s heart hollow.

The songs of the cicadas faltered momentarily in its repeated chants, too quick to be noticed by Hajime’s bad hearing.

With a sigh, Hajime plopped down heavily next to the futon again, lotus style, the fan plugged in. A weak breeze ruffled his hair slightly, but much to his annoyance, it was still unable to get rid of the blistering heat of summer. His eyes caught side of a photo framed directly in front of him, of two youthful men, one carrying a bouquet of flowers, but two in white tuxedos, showing off their ring fingers to the camera.

Returning his attention to Tooru, Hajime pushed his wispy white hair out of the way, ring finger glinting silver in the sunlight as it revealed a sweaty forehead.

_Hey… how are you holding up?_

Tooru leaned into the touch, and gave his usual breathtaking smile, the rare genuine ones, lips pulled back to reveal a perfect set of pearly white teeth even at age 85. Eyes narrowed into two crescent moons to meet Hajime’s, he conveyed his reply.

_The same as always, Iwa-chan._

At such a sight, Hajime’s breath came short. He treasured the knowledge that only he alone was able to witness such a rare sight of Tooru, picturesque perfect like scenery. He cherishes the silent communication between them, an obvious representation of their deep withstanding connection. Chuckling inwardly, Hajime was amused that even after all these years spent with him, Tooru was still able to affect him as much as he did since childhood.

However, even if he did acknowledged the fact that his beloved husband was breathtakingly beautiful, he could not miss the amount of effort he exhausted to smile or reply. Or his milky chestnut eyes covered with crow feet at their sides, seemingly focused on something beyond Hajime. Neither could he miss his cheeks too white to be considered normal, intersected with bluish veins than ran down his pale neck, nor his bony cold hands that Hajime was unconsciously tracing circles with with his thumb, clasped in he’s equally calloused hands from years of volleyball.

Hajime dabbed Tooru’s forehead with a clean handkerchief, wiping the sweat off his clammy forehead. His breathing was shallow, fainter than usual, his hand in Hajime’s relaxing bit by bit with every breath he struggled to inhale, the cicadas softer bit by bit with every breath Tooru takes, and Hajime knew it was almost time.

Before Hajime could voice his last words, a knock on the door halted them. A woman clad in the nurse uniform emerged from the wooden doors behind them, the label on the violet dress reading ‘Io’. Beads of sweat spotted her hairline as she shuffled forward respectfully towards the IV drip next to Tooru. Looking at the couple, she apologized abashedly for interrupting, instantly aware of the intimate moment that was commencing before she entered.

Hajime assured her it was alright, and she expertly maneuvered around the paraphernalia of toys, not an easy feat considering the amount, switching the depleting IV drip expeditiously. Io squinted at the sunlight streaming in from the doors. “The cicadas are softer than usual today” she mused, and Hajime nodded in agreement. He too had notice the irregularity.

When Io had finished her task, she gave both men a warm smile before leaving the room. Hajime felt his lips turned up in response. He was thankful for Io. When Tooru had adamantly requested to be discharged from the hospital a few months ago, much to Hajime’s chagrin, Io had been the one assigned to him. She had accommodated to his every whim, and frequently did the household chores for old Hajime, even when it was not in her job description. Hajime realized one of the reasons Tooru had lived 3 months longer than expected was definitely due to her care, and he was indebted to her infinitely.

Hajime understood why Tooru had left the hospital for home. Even if Tooru would lack the medical attention needed to ease the pain and slow the speed of deterioration of his cancer, and the hospital three hours away by car. In a nondescript room, with hospital staff seemingly always eager for the day a new patient would be able to move in, no one would truly feel at peace there.

They had purchased this traditional house in the countryside together after their final Olympic game, the money provided in abundance by the government to reward their consecutive wins in almost every national match. Jokingly, they named it their ‘retirement house’.  
The unique features that prompted the acquisition of said house was the pond and forest right outside those sliding doors that Tooru had always gushed throughout the years as serene and peaceful, a distinct portrayal of how Hajime was the respite to Tooru’s constant turbulent thoughts.

The included garden was a constant source of happiness for both of them. With soft dewy grass throughout and pots of plants and a variety of flowers lovingly planted, it was a gardener’s dream. Any activity they came up with would have been done and always enjoyed together. The passionate chords of cicadas consistent with every step of their journey. Hajime never regrets being able to spend more time with Tooru.

A series of hacked coughs pulled him out of his reverie and reminiscence of past days, most probably a much needed reprieve from the current situation, no matter how prepared he assumed he was. Immediately, he picked up the glass of water at his side and Tooru’s frail body, tilting the glass of water into his mouth, Hajime doing what Tooru was now unable to do for himself.

 _Iwa-chan?_ Brown eyes met his directly, laced with concern and a question in its gaze, and Hajime became conscious of his intense stare and trademark frown focused on Tooru, as he strived to form the right words in his head lest he spent the limited remaining years regretting them.

Many had felt uncomfortable with the piercing force of Tooru’s gaze, sense him calculating and detecting their every weakness. Especially on the court where any flaw of the enemy is vital for success. _Rule the court._ Seijou’s unmistakable turquoise banner floated to the surface of his mind, and Tooru had lived to those words to the best of his ability, the best player of Seijou’s and also, Japan’s court.  
But for Hajime, he had always welcomed Tooru’s scrutiny with open arms. Only Tooru had understood him better than he knew himself, seemingly a part of Hajime.

But he wasn’t.

Tooru had intricately woven himself deep into Hajime’s body and soul to the extent that he will never be able to differentiate where he starts and Tooru ends. He was Tooru, and Tooru was him, both sacrificing themselves willingly for the other, a worshipper at the feet of their god. Every organ, every vein, every single cell of Hajime belonged to Tooru, needs Tooru like humans need air and Tooru is 100% oxygen, sustaining him but leaving him dizzy with bliss. The impending doom of a significant other that belongs to every fiber of him results in the screaming agony of Hajime’s entire being, mind and soul. Dying alive internally, yet unable to take Tooru’s place.  
The fan unable to get rid of the heat, Hajime never able to reverse the situation.

He had never imagined a life without Tooru, but he was forced to now. How could he when Tooru was present beside him since two months after he was born, all the way from childhood till now?

The only answer he received were the repeated chants of the cicadas.

Tooru lifted his arm, attempting to reach Hajime’s face. Pausing in its journey upwards, it flopped down to the futon, lacking the energy to continue. Tooru’s eyes met his.

_You’re crying._

Then only did Hajime sense the wet trails coming down in streams. His hand came in contact with the soft skin of Tooru’s cheek, a stark contrast to his which was riddled with creases and Tooru closed his eyes in contentment.

Hajime cherished that Tooru was still alive, still breathing, still here. How would he look when he’s not? An image flashed across his mind, with the inclusion of a black casket. Hajime’s throat swelled, he sensed bile rising up.

Time was of the essence now.

“Too-Tooru”, he choked out, another palm covering his opposite cheek. Tooru opened his eyes in rapt attention, the clarity in those orbs stark difference from the milky white of the last few months. He remained silent, letting Hajime find the right words. No matter how talkative and chatty Tooru is seen as in the public's eye, he always knew when to let Hajime have his turn without exception. He adored this paradoxical facet of Tooru, a quality that people never seem to notice.

Mourns of the cicadas echoed within Hajime, crashing in waves immensely stronger than they had ever been, drowning him alive.  
“I’m going to miss you, so…so much. I love you so much I won’t even be able to… to live the same way anymore without you. You mean so much to me and I’ve never been able to say this enough…” More tears threatened to spill down his cheeks, voice wavering, and Hajime sucked in a deep breath to compose himself. “Thank you all these years Tooru, I will _never_ trade them for anything else.”  
Then, a beam so bright it blinded Hajime. “Iwa-chan, I feel the same.”

It was moments like these that the world felt like a void to Hajime, consisting of them and only them, Tooru and Hajime. It’s only accompaniment: cicadas, the galaxy and constellations of stars that Tooru loved so much the backdrop, silhouetting their figures in an unattainable eternity.

* * *

 

Tooru twisted his head towards Hajime, eyes peaceful and face shadowed by the tangerine tan of the setting sky, the end of another day, the end of another life.

_Iwa-chan, it’s almost time._

The blaring sirens of cicadas rose to a deafening crescendo, warning him time and again of what was to come.

No matter how this scenario had made its rounds through his imagination consistently, preparing and living it were immensely different. It left Hajime heart thrumming in fear and panic, his throat dry like fire.

“Thank you for having my back all these years too. I love you, Hajime. Even in death.”

Tears that Hajime had successfully clammed down on beforehand poured freely again with the confession he had heard throughout the years. He leaned down to press a final kiss to Tooru, a farewell for the time being, the only silver lining.

Soft lips met Hajime’s as they melded into one, faces fitting perfectly , both of them moving in tandem against each other, meeting with more electricity than they ever did. Hajime curled his fingers into Tooru’s familiar soft hair, a soft moan resounding in his ears. Tongues intertwined, they pushed against each other to savor the most out of their life-long partner, childhood best friend, soulmate. It was not a kiss of lust and desire, but one where it was their final chance to channel their commitment and devotion towards the opposite.

Hajime unconsciously swung his leg to the other side of the futon to lay himself above Tooru, and they pressed closer than possible, not an inch of space between them, the lengthened shadows on the walls the shape of a single life form. Hajime was overwhelmed by the scent that was accustomed to Tooru, the core essence of him, and he lost the concept of time and space, an ability that only Tooru possesses.

The cicadas resounded vigorously with the pounding beats in his chest. He wondered if he would ever be able to ingrain this into memory forever. How Tooru tasted like sugar and oranges all rolled into one, the citrus smell of his hair, the way his eyes are always fire and sparks of ember, of life and intensity, the innate power and strength in his limbs yet able to caress Hajime so gently…

Before he felt Tooru shudder, lips going slack as he breathed his last into Hajime’s. And Hajime realizes all of a sudden, there is nothing left but silence.

**Author's Note:**

> scream @ me abt hq on tumblr at [doubletan](http://doubletan.tumblr.com/) !! and stay tune for more iwaoi fics in the future :D


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